


slow grenade

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Heartbreak, Hopeful Ending, No Fluff, what should’ve happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25028392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: What should’ve happened when Clarke found out Bellamy had “died” at the end of 7x07.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 123





	slow grenade

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll come back to this in the morning to add links to world issues but just a reminder that my three most recent fics provide them as well, and I just wanted to get this out. I might make a part two, but let me know if you want me to! 
> 
> thank you for the love lately, it means a lot!

In the middle of a blinding white room, Clarke had thought she was done with surprises for the time being. As she stumbles for balance a few feet away from an old friend named Gabriel, her confusion with him being on another planet overthrows any doubt that he wasn’t with her people. 

  
  


“Gabriel?” She asks, just as the anomaly closes behind them. He’s dressed in white robe decorated with black embroidery across the collar, and it concerns her. 

He’s wide eyed and jaw right, avoiding her gaze on purpose. “Hi, Clarke.” 

“It’s good to see you.” She smiles, and she genuinely means it because she was one step closer to finding her friends. Octavia. Echo. And Bellamy. They were here somewhere and Gabriel could somehow get intel on these people, then he would be a hopeful asset to getting around. 

She had so much to tell Bellamy. 

“Where’s the others? “ Raven asks after taking off her helmet and panting, looking around the room. She doesn’t say their names until she’s looking straight at Gabriel with a hardness in her eyes. “Bellamy? Octavia? Echo?” 

Gabriel swallowed harshly, as if the news would crush them all. 

Clarke eyes him nervously, trying to keep the smile from turning into a frown to give herself some hope that what he would say wouldn’t hurt her. Miller shuffles closer to her, and she feels like she can’t move. 

“Octavia and Echo are here.” Gabriel states, then locks eyes directly with Clarke and doesn’t back down. He doesn’t look at anyone else. It’s only them two in a room, and he’s about to shatter her world completely. “Clarke, I’m sorry but Bellamy is dead.” 

Her world shatters at her feet.   
  


She tried to repeat it in her head, but her brain cant do it. _Bellamy is dead. Bellamy is dead. Bellamy is dead._ Her entire body short circuited with just a few words.

Her lower lip begins to tremble uncontrollably, the pistol gripped tightly in her left hand falls to the floor with a loud thud in a eerily silent white room, and in a matter of seconds, she can’t see because of blurry vision. _Bellamy is dead._ Hundreds of memories flash through her in an instant, and she feels like she can’t breathe. 

  
  


“No... _no_.” Clarke croaked, throat burning with sudden emotion. She’s shaking her head violently, and feels someone grab and squeeze her shoulder for comfort and she can’t tell if it was Miller or Raven. “Gabriel, _please_ don’t—“ 

She wanted to beg him not to lie to her but the words die on the tip of her tongue, her heart feels as if it broke in half and fell to the floor. 

This was the last straw. The last thing to tick her off. She was a slow grenade waiting to blow, after losing her friends and both parents who she wished she had more time to spend with, this is what broke her. 

“He fell through the anomaly, I— _I_ -“ Gabriel struggled finding the words, even tried walking towards the group but she held a shaking hand out. 

“Don’t tell me he’s gone.” Clarke warned in a dangerous tone, furiously trying to wipe tears from her cheeks as she feels her body start to give out from shock. _Don’t fall_ , she keeps telling herself. She had to be strong. “Don’t tell me that he’s dead, Gabriel.” 

  
  


“Clarke, you need to—“ The voice she recognized as Jordan was behind her, grabbing at her elbow to keep her steady. 

  
  


The room starts to spin. 

  
  


Clarke doesn’t know how to handle her emotions anymore. 

  
  


“He can’t be dead, Jordan...He can’t—“ Clarke tries to reach for him before falling to her knees, the exhaustion of the trip on Nakara getting to her when pain shoots up her thighs and spine, but she hunches over in a sob that breaks her heart open. “I can’t lose him, Raven. He’s my best friend, you—you know that.” There was a time where she thought he would be more than that, but their time has clearly passed. Raven drops to her knees besides her closest friend and holds her as she cries, giving her a moment to grieve as silent tears roll down her cheeks too. 

“We fight for him, Clarke. That’s what we do.” She tells in a hoarse whisper, emotions getting the best of her. 

“I’ve lost everyone.” Clarke’s sobs don’t calm down, but only get louder and Gabriel has to lock the doors to the anomaly Stone room so others can see what’s happening. She clutches onto the sleeves of Raven’s anomaly suit, gripping the material tightly until her muscles scream. Even then, she doesn’t stop. “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved. I lost Bellamy.” 

  
  


Raven cries, “You’ve got us.” 

“I loved him, Raven.” Clarke looks up, eyes wide and red and filled with heartwrenching pain that she wishes upon nobody else in the world. It was always different with him. “I never thought I would lose him like this. I never even got to say goodbye.” 

  
  


“He knows, Clarke.” Her friend assured. “Of course he knows.” 

  
  


“I never told him.” Clarke sobbed, knowing her heart had been ripped away from her so violently. She never thought this was how their story would end. She at least wanted to feel his arms around her one last time. “I never got to say goodbye and —“ 

  
  


She didn’t expect to see Gabriel crouch down beside her with tears in his eyes and determination written all over his face when he put a hand on her knee, but she has no choice but to listen through ringing ears. 

“We saw him fall through the anomaly, but we don’t know what happened to him.” He says softly, trying to give her some hope. “Death may not be the only answer here. He could be out there still.” 

Clarke holds onto Raven tighter, closing her eyes. “What does that mean?” 

“His story isn’t over.” Gabriel said. “He could be lost and looking for a stone to come back here, but I need you to be strong and help me look for him.” 

Clarke is still shaking when she stands, her eyes are puffy and she feels like she could barely function, but she nods. 

Raven is there to hold her through it all, and when Octavia walks through the door hours later, she feels numb to the pain of it all and keeps herself entirely focused on Gabriel’s notes of anomaly work and Bardo research on other planets to do more than give the younger Blake a hug. She doesn’t want their story to end like this. 

  
  


If he was still out there, she would find him. 

She would bring him home. 

Bellamy’s too important to her, and if she could save him and fight as hard for him as he has done for her in the past, then she would risk her life for him. 

There’s no question about that. 


End file.
